I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
