dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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