think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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