i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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