That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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