Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
