Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
