In the future we'll all be gay
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
