Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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