Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
