And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
