Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
