Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Congratulations! We have a period
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
