For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
