She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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