dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
