wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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