Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
