I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
