I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I enjoy the company of your penis
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
