Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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