what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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