i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
