Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
