Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize