put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize