why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
