$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize