Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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