After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
