So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
