i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
