Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
