k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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