I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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