fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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