I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
