Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
