this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
