Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
