So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
