I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
