you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How's work?
Spinning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
