I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
