If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
