and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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