Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
