Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
