I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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