is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
