bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This toilet bowl is my home.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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