WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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