You really coming over, don't trick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
