I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
