you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
