wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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