i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
