Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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