i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
