I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
