I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Boobs are out for the taking
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
